Finding Motivation

I have really been struggling with finding the motivation to do things recently. I have an essay due in on Friday, and while it is only 1,500 words (which to be fair is nothing) there is quite a bit of research to be done to understand the topic. It's based around consumer behaviour and I chose the topic of motivations of amateur poker players to pay the $10,000 buy in to enter the World Series of Poker Main Event. It's quite interesting anyway and I am quite enjoying the research but I really struggle with motivation. I am hoping that I will eventually find something that will instantly motivate myself, because at the moment I always become motivated at inappropriate times, like when I'm in bed trying to sleep and I'm too tired to being work then. I always struggle with motivation whenever something needs to be done, and especially at times like these when I have several important things that need doing I tend to ignore them and avoid doing any work at all costs by coming up with excuses and distractions (the internets a killer for this). So last time I was struggling with this I found Zen Habits which I've mentioned before, and I read this article: http://zenhabits.net/2007/02/top-20-motivation-hacks-overview/ . Now he has some very good ideas about motivation, but for some things like uni work I'm not sure that they apply. So yesterday I wrote myself a motivational list of things to motivate myself with and here it is!:

"You've got no chance of being recognised for doing well if you don't try" (R.B.W.)

1. I want to be recognised for doing well and doing better than anybody else. - Now i realise that this sounds very conceited, but it's because I want to do well. I know I am capable of getting a first and getting the best grade on my course if I was to try, but I don't try and I get good results, but nothing to write home about. It's nothing that is really going to impress people and make them go oh wow! And it's also because I want to prove to myself that I can do it, because I know that I am capable yet I have never proven this to myself.

2. I want to get a very high first at uni. - This is very do-able, but I just need to make sure that this year...

3. I want to get a solid first this year at uni. - and if I do this then I will be well on track for a very high first at the end of uni. I want to be congratulated at how well I have done and people be jealous that I have done so well, but I also want to deserve it because I know that I have worked my arse off to get there.

4. I want to feel proud of myself. - this leads on to the next point...

5. "What are you most proud of?" "Nothing" - This is what one of my lecturers asked me in a seminar along with the rest of the class. I was the first person she asked and that was my response, before she went round everybody else and they all reeled off lists of things they were proud of doing. There is nothing that I am really proud of myself for doing, because as far as I am concerned it wasn't specific to me because anybody could have done it. So here are my list of things which I want to achieve so that next time somebody asks me the question "what are you most proud of?" I can reply...

- Getting 80%+ at uni

- Organising a trip to climb mount kilimanjaro and raising over £30,000 to do so

- Running the race for life without stopping

- Doing really well at my placement and being asked to return when I finish uni

- Working at camp america and fulfilling an ambition I have had for the past few years

- Setting up my own business

So there you go. Your opinion of me may have quite possibly changed and you now think of me as an arrogant twat, but hopefully you can understand my reasoning behind each of the things I have said. I challenge you anyway to write a list of things that you are both currently proud of (because everybody should be proud of something) and what you want to be proud of in both the near future and within the next 10 years. Post me a link in the comments or send me a message because I would like to hear your personal accomplishments, seeing as I obviously lack my own.

Speak to you soon anyway,

Much love,

Miss Multiplicity xxx